PREGNANCY OPTIONS FOR SAME-SEX COUPLES AND SINGLE WOMEN

Updated May 2024 | 5 min read
Expert contributor Dr Lyndon Hale, head of reproductive surgery, The Royal Women’s Hospital; Dr Raphael Kuhn, in vitro fertilisation (IVF) expert and author 
Words by Karen Burge

There are several pregnancy options for same-sex couples and single women interested in starting a family. Here are some key considerations. 

Sophie Harper always knew she wanted to be a mum.

“I imagined I’d do it in the way schoolgirls imagine… I’d fall in love with a man, he’d fall in love with me and the family would naturally follow,” she explains.

But becoming a mum was to be a different experience. Many years later, Sophie came out as gay to family and friends; a weight lifted but reality sunk in. “The thing I felt saddest about letting go of was the idea of creating a baby biologically with the person I was in love with and for us to be a family,” she recalls.

Approaching her late 30s, Sophie gave herself a deadline. “I’d always known I wanted a baby and gave myself a time limit to take action [age 37] based on declining fertility statistics.

“As 37 approached and I was still single, I accepted and then embraced the fact that I’d be doing it alone.”

Today, Sophie lives in Canberra with her now five-year-old daughter, surrounded by family. She shares her journey in a documentary podcast series, Not by accident.

Embracing choice

Fertility specialist and gynaecologist Dr Lyndon Hale is medical director at a Melbourne fertility clinic and head of reproductive surgery at The Royal Women’s Hospital in Victoria.

He says there’s a growing number of single women and same-sex couples visiting clinics to help start their families through assisted reproductive technology.

An annual report from medical researchers at the University of New South Wales found that a record 18,594 babies were born in Australia as a result of IVF treatment in 2021. The 102,157 cycles of IVF performed in Australia in 2021 was a 17% increase on 2020. Of those treatments, 11.9% were undertaken by single women and 4.1% by two female parents, according to the report. There’s also increasing demand for donor sperm to assist single women trying for a baby (53%) and women in same-sex relationships (34%), according to recent data published by the Australian Journal of General Practice.

For single women trying for a baby, Dr Hale says it’s mostly about having limitations on their reproductive window. “They feel they want to be a parent so much that they’re prepared to do it on their own,” he explains.

“We say ‘on their own’ but that idea of a nuclear family and there only being one model has changed a lot in my view. You’ll see women with very supportive parents and the extended family are helping bring the kids up. Often they have very good support networks.”

Pregnancy options available

Whether you’re wanting to get pregnant without a partner, are in a same-sex relationship or are having difficulty falling pregnant, there are many options that may be available to help you start your pregnancy journey. 

Assisted reproductive technology

Assisted reproductive technology is helping many single women and same-sex couples start a family. People who have a baby via donor conception use donated sperm, eggs or embryos. Women can access donor sperm through someone they know or by using an unknown donor in Australia or overseas.

Dr Hale says it isn’t always necessary to go through IVF. Donor insemination, where sperm is placed into the uterus at the right time of the month, might be all that’s needed, IVF Australia explains.

The Victorian Assisted Reproductive Treatment Authority (VARTA) explains that using a donor in Australia can have advantages. An Australian donor has the benefit of legal protections that ensure they can be known to your potential child and to you, for example. It can also help you to reduce costs. Learn about finding a donor.

Sophie Harper, who was living in Denmark at the time, used a sperm bank and carefully selected the donor. “It seemed to me that if I was choosing a donor, it was responsible to choose the best gene pool to complement mine, for my child’s sake. If I couldn’t procreate through love, at least I could do this.”

Surrogacy

Along with IVF and donor insemination, surrogacy may be another option for same-sex couples and single women wanting to start their pregnancy journey. This is an arrangement for a woman to become pregnant and give birth to a child for another couple (same-sex or heterosexual) or an individual (for example, a woman with medical issues that may make it more difficult to conceive).

Surrogacy Australia says that although the laws differ between states and territories, altruistic surrogacy is legal. In an altruistic surrogacy agreement, a surrogate doesn’t receive any payment or reward for acting as a surrogate.

There are many legal, medical and financial issues to consider, including applying to have a baby legally recognised as your own, so it’s best to do your research through avenues like VARTA, fertility clinics and lawyers.

Egg freezing

IVF expert and author Dr Raphael Kuhn says egg freezing worth considering if you’re aged 30 to 36 and pregnancy isn’t on your immediate life agenda. This could be because you don’t have a partner, or you may have a partner but aren’t planning, or able, to try for a baby in the foreseeable future.

According to VARTA, for some women who want to have a child (without using a donor) there can be medical reasons for egg freezing. The prospect of chemotherapy is one example. 

"It should be a priority for any woman who's diagnosed with cancer and will or may need to have chemotherapy," says Dr Kuhn, author of IVF Success, An Evidence-Based Guide to Getting Pregnant and Clues to Why You Are Not Pregnant Now.

Understanding the costs of starting a family

If you’re considering starting a family as a single woman or same-sex couple, and you want to be covered for pregnancy and birth services in the private system, head to our Get A Quote page to understand what HCF cover options are right for you.

To claim for (listed) assisted reproductive services, you’ll need HCF Premium Hospital cover. If you're looking to claim on IVF as part of your health insurance, the waiting period for IVF is up to 12 months.

It’s important to know that a number of pregnancy and assisted reproductive services are outpatient, and only in-hospital (inpatient) services can be covered by private health insurance, whichever fund or cover you choose. 

You may be able claim a Medicare rebate for certain elements of your care.

Before starting any treatment, be clear about what your health insurance can cover, what Medicare rebates you can expect and what your out-of-pocket costs are likely to be. 

Support for your pregnancy journey

Whatever your situation, there's plenty of online support for every type of family. Examples include:

• Blended families, single-parent and same-sex couples: raisingchildren.net.au
• Single mums: National Council of Single Mothers and their Children
• Same-sex couples: Rainbow Families
• Surrogacy: Families Through Surrogacy

When it comes to supporting your child(ren), Dr Hale says that explaining your journey early on will help them understand how special they are and ensure it becomes part of their family story while they're little.

Growing your family? 

We're here to help you and your loved ones every step of the way. Explore our cover options and find out about programs to support the whole family's health.